Corey’s Christmas Message
Oh dear, folks. It looks like not even Christmas is safe from the crass cynicism of Corey Taylor.
The Slipknot / Stone Sour frontman’s first solo single, entitled ‘X-m@$’ was recorded in Chiswick, West London, during a day-off amidst Stone Sour’s recent U.K. tour, and as Corey’s redneck-Scrooge persona launches into a full-scale assault on all things jolly, not even the sanctity of Jingle Bells is left intact. While the chorus “ If I ain’t drunk then it ain’t Christmas…” would be enough to make Santa himself weep in shame, the accompanying cacophony of smashing cymbals conjures awful dioramas of anarchist elves and renegade reindeer, taking turns in gleeful destruction of bells, baubles, and hostage candy-canes – with the Yule log as a battering-ram.
The imagery has an unmistakable anti-commercialism ring to it; the point punctuated with a fade-out cheeky nod to the muscle-vested mogul of mass-consumption, Simon Cowell, and his X-Factor minions.
Although the hick-wisdom implicit within the lyrics “we collectively as a people/ Should rise against this corporate jolly noise” makes some real sense, the contrary cheer and merry motherfuckerin’ of the anti-Christmas tirade succeeds in encouraging just the opposite, making me feel more festive than ever. Does that mean I’ve lost the plot? I doubt it. Corey explains to Kerrang!: “I wrote this song in my kitchen one winter, listening to people bitch about the holidays. Personally, I love the holidays, but they seem to bring on severe stress in most people. So, I wrote this in honour of crotchety, drunken bastards who don’t know the difference between a yuletide and a toolshed. Plus, I think it’s funny…”.
The message: Break out the eggnog, dust off those stockings and get the fuck over your grinchy selves. Merry fucking X-m@$!!!
Single to be released through Roadrunner Records, 12th December. All proceeds from the Christmas sales will go to the Teenage Cancer Trust – www.teenagecancertrust.org.
